My kid's a troublemaker. What to do or what not to do?
Having a tough night folks. I have an almost 4 y old girl who is having a hard time at daycare or any other setting with children. She's a bully and could careless about other people unless what they are doing has an impact on her or if she wants something from them.
After a great weekend together, I went to pick her up today at daycare and she was on yellow (green=expected, yellow=below expected, red=stabbed another kid with a spork or something). She had thrown scissors at a table full of kids after not getting what she wanted and yelled at the other kids and also cleared off a table of toys in a passionate rage. The note from school stated this was becoming a trend.
This is not accepted behavior at home. If she has a nasty comment, hits her 16 m old brother, throws toys or has a melt down - she's sent to timeout or her room. It only takes one time of telling her and it's over. There are NO melt downs at home. She's never been one to throw a temper tantrum so I don't know what this is about at school. Not saying she's an angel most of the time at home, she just knows the boundaries. Rolling her eyes, saying everything in the world that will push our buttons, pretending not to hear us - all that goes on at home. Took her to a baby shower a few weeks ago and she spent the entire time either crying that no one was sharing a balloon OR beating another kid in the face with the balloon when they did share with her. *After seeing that last act I left with her immediately - AKA: no cake which produced lots of regret.
I'm tired of getting the pity look at daycare and the promise that "tomorrow will be better". My kid is the ONLY one on yellow multiple days of the week. And truth be told, I don't want to take her in public.
BTW, the punishment for being on yellow is going to bed right after dinner - and a talking to on the way home.
How do I help her improve her behavior? My husband and I have made improvements with her recognizing feelings and being affectionate but this bully part is just something I don't understand.
She had thrown scissors at a table full of kids after not getting what she wanted and yelled at the other kids and also cleared off a table of toys in a passionate rage. The note from school stated this was becoming a trend.
Sorry to tell you this, but it sounds like she is destined to grow up to be a Podiumite.
I really really feel for you..my son is 11 and has had meltdowns, hit, threw chairs, pushed other kids..as he gets older and with much support from the school and at home he is learning how to deal.
He has been diagnosed with Asperger's. It is considered on the autism spectrum and is also called "high functioning autism" Mostly it deals with social problems, rigid thinking, not "reading other people" not making eye contact with others..these are just a few items...
My son had problems with switching tasks..he would get so into something at school that when it was time to move on to the next subject he would get upset. He has to be "prompted" with reminders a few minutes before the task is switched and that seemed to help.
My son also is fine at home....its just the pressure being around others and dealing with the various expectations and stimulation at school that can get him frustrated. Its challenging enough for kids as it is and add to the mix a person who is a bit more socially challenged it can really set off anxiety issues.
My son seemed to understand that he was a bit different...we went to the Monterey Bay Aquarium a few years ago and they have this large circular tank with a bunch of sardines swimming around. They were all going in the same direction except for one or two...he looked up at that and pointed them out and said...like me.
Good luck , it sounds like she will definitely be a handful ! What are they doing at daycare when she does this kind of thing ? Are there any kids picking on her 1st to bring these episodes on ?
They put her in time out if it's a regular day. If they have been doing this all day, removed privileges like reading or going outdoors and that didn't work either, they call me to give a verbal over the phone. It's like she doesn't care about their punishments but it remorseful when she comes home and can't participate in the games after dinner.
She complains of a girl that hits her but I've never had the teacher say anything about her getting picked on... I don't think it's the other kids, unfortunately. They have cameras but I can't view them while at work.
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